Cycle 18 - Day 17-23

I am officially in the 2WW. I am almost positive that I o'd on CD 16. I haven't really had many symptoms persay. I have had a couple twinges/cramps in the pelvic area and throbbing in the girlies. But other then that nothing.

Yesterday I got  yet another call from the fertility clinic..... I was so confused because I was not expecting the call. So anyways she says Hi this is ______ calling from Soft. I am calling to let you know that Dr Martin reviewed your last cycle and he is suggesting that you take Femera along with your Clomid.... or there is the other option of FSH injections. So I kinda questioned it a bit and then once I got off the phone I was completely confused. So I sent an email to one of the fertility nurses, explained that I was confused because  why would they be calling me twice in one cycle and giving me two different routes to go....  So then a girl that I went to highschool with is also having difficulty ttc, and she attends the same clinic decided that we were going to go out for lunch. It was awesome to be able to talk about it considering my friend told me to stop trying, start focusing on loosing weight and that I was focusing to much on trying to get pregnant. I was actually quite hurt. This is coming from a girl that already has a little girl..... so anyways I went to work I was emotional of course....

I ended up not going to work today (cd 23) as the roads were really bad. I commute to work and the roads that I travel are never really safe. I was happy that I didn't go because I was able to receive an email back from the fertility nurse at my clinic. This is what it said;

Hi Debbie,

I am sorry that you are feeling confused and perhaps a bit overwhelmed by the two different phone calls.  That is our fault, because with our closure we did not get to call people as soon as we would like following a chart review.  So let me try to explain…

After your Dec. cycle, it was suggested that you and Mark add IUI to our efforts to get pregnant.  You did not get that message until after you’d started your Jan. cycle.  Then your Jan. cycle was reviewed by Dr. Martin and suggestions were made to change your medication protocol:  to continue with the Clomiphene 100mg daily on cycle days 3 through 7, but also add 3 Letrazole 2.5mg tablets, all taken together on cycle day 3.  Additionally, if you wanted, you could add 3 injections of follicle stimulating hormone on cycle days 6, 8, and 10.

At this juncture, I would suggest, as you did as well, that IUI is the first thing we need to add in.  If you wish to make the additional medication changes (IF another cycle is required!!) then we can do that.  For detailed information on IUI +/- Clomiphene, Letrazole, and injectable FSH, please go to our website and look up the patient documents. 

So options, put briefly:

-        Take clomiphene as you always have, monitor the cycle and try at home (which is what you’ve been doing)

-        Take clomiphene as you always have, monitor the cycle and complete your attempt as an IUI

-        Take clomiphene as before, add Letrazole, and complete as IUI

-        Take clomiphene as before, add Letrazole + injections of FSH, and complete as IUI.

I hope this helps Deb.  If I can be of further assistance, please don’t hesitate to be in touch.

This made me feel 10 times better and Mark and I decided that we were going to take the route of the Femera and the Clomid with the IUI. We both thought it wouldn't hurt.... So until then we wait.

Cycle 18 - Cycle Day 15/16

Cycle Day 15 - I woke up at 6 am after working the previous night till 10 pm. I had to make the morning drive to London. There was several different feelings going through my mind this morning. About many different causes... it was foggy.... and I have a fear of driving on the 401... so foggy dark conditions scare the crap out of me. So merging on to the highway... I am trying to get on there is a transport ahead of me beside me and behind me... it scared me. I hate being blocked it. The highway was full of transports.. I rushed to get to a spot that I felt safe and sped up so I could get in a clear spot as the trucks were governed...  Now I was able to think about the blood being drawn today and the internal ultrasound. (I really didn't want to think about it... I was really nervous and felt sick to my stomach, especially after the Monday's results...... So I get there right at 700... the doors are locked still so I had to wait for them to unlock... I walk in and I was the first one there. I sat down waited a few minutes.. again making me sick.... they call my name! Only to find out that I am going for an ultrasound first... odd... for the past 4 months its always been blood drawn then ultrasound... anyways.... it felt like the longest walk of my life.. seriously.. I laid on the table feet in stir-ups with a little cheap cover over my bottom half... i was embarrassed my legs were not shaved lol... the tech laughed and said I feel your pain... mine too look like that.  I was giggling in nerves she got quiet... she explained that the uterus is a muscle and out it expands and contracts etc and she was waiting for it to stop so that she could measure the endo lining..... the results look good it had re thickened.... now to measure the follicles...... There are 4 follicles and I think 3 that are in good standing I know that there are two for sure one on each side... I was relieved... off to get blood work.... so I had to sit down again and wait for my name to be called again.. Brad got me this time.... he looked at my chart and made sure that we were just monitoring... he said well it looks like today is your day and if not Ill be calling you for a trigger shot.... So he took my blood and DAMN it hurt this time.... so I made my way home thinking and thinking about the possibility of today not being my day and shooting my stomach full of hormones...... I got home to a bright and smiley face of my friends 16 month old that my husband was holding at the door when I arrived.... for  minute I dreamed that it was ours... it had been the first time ever that he babysat alone. Its 830am..... I feed A her breakfast and we played for a bit... my phone starts ringing.... I see Dr. James Martin...... its 0930hrs.... its too early for a lab result..... "Hi this is __ from SOFT calling, How are you today?" "good you?" "good" I was kinda skeptic... " I am calling to let you know that Dr. Frank (another doc in the clinic) looked over your charts and said that you can start the iui process whenever you are ready for it". I explained that next cycle we are thinking about it. She said ok great but hopefully you wont need it. Whew.... okay so now I am waiting for the results...... 1330hrs.... I get the call.... Your chart looks great!!! you surged have date night tonight/tomorrow and the next day.... hoping to see you in 14 days with good news!!

So I called Mark and told him the great news that after all this worry I had surged... Tonight's date night. i told him we are going to baby dance earlier in the evening as we typically do it like 11 pm... so 730 pm it was.I made a point this time to elevate my hips and lay down for 30 minutes...... that was date night one.

Cycle Day 16 - I woke Mark up this morning to have sex... we haven't had morning sex at all during our fertile window while visiting the clinic before. I though give it a shot. Mark was amazing it was a great way  to start the day... I laid down for 30 mins then started my day and he went to work. i felt a little sick but thought it would ease.. I went to eat my omelet and hadn't put it in my mouth yet and I had the urge to vomit... ugh I made it to the bathroom.. after 3 minutes of getting sick I felt much better, brushed my teeth then ate my omelet and went to the gym. I am feeling a bit crampy right now but good none the less Can't wait for date night tonight :)

Cycle 18 - Day 7-14

This week the anticipation has been killing me waiting to start going to the Clinic to get my routine blood work and ultrasounds done.. Waiting to O

CD 7 - Took my last dose of Clomid today pretty much almost missed the dose.. But was able to get it in. Today I was suffering from major hot flashes, slept with the AC on. Its JANUARY!!!

CD 8 - Today was not that bad of day. It was my first real day back to work after the holidays. It was really night to be back to the grind... Waiting to start the trips to London. Starting to get a little depressed today about the whole cycle.

CD 9 - Today I was easily irritated. It didn't matter what it was I really didn't want to be anywhere but home.

CD 10 - Its Friday!!!! I took some time with my Prime Kid (from Work) took her to the movies and saw alvin and the chipmunks Then went to work, My shift partner left early so I was able to talk to my bff which helped me feel better.

CD 11 - Started my trips to london. Got Blood Work and an ultrasound done.. They thought I had a cyst because there was a follicle that was 29, My endo Lining was very thick. I also had some follicles that were quite big so I was sure that I  was going to Ovulate early. I was also really nervous about the cyst.

CD 12 - Went to London again with the husband..... Just blood work today... Nothing really to Report..

CD 13 - Went to London By my self today husband wasn't able to go as he had to work.. I really wish that he went. I saw my results fromt he Ultrasound today... The cyst wasn't there to measure  which was good.... some of the larger follicles either disappeared or shrunk which was worrisome, then my endo lining thinned a bit... Which scared me.. so I broke down crying at the clinic and the fertility nurses reassured me everything was fine!!! That every thing was great but since everything seemed different from my last cycles it had me worried .... Maybe different is good????

CD 14 - Went for Blood work today.. looks like the hormones had a nice rise so it made me feel much better about how things were going and I think that I just over reacted. I told the nurse that I was worried yesterday and she looked at me and said why? in a puzzled way... I told her because some shrank and this and that and she was like look every thing looks great.... I do have 4 follicles that are in good standing 2 on each side.. she said we don't want 4 babies.... 1 baby maybe 2.. I told her I would take whatever I could get and she laughed but she reassured me that everything is looking great!  I am nervous for tomorrow.

Cycle 18 Days 1-6

I want to start writing more consistantly about my cycles. So here it goes.

CD 1 - It started with pre-af spotting which was something that I never experienced before Clomid. Then the next day it was like BAM... It hit me like a ton of bricks. I did NOT want to do a thing. I was bawling my eyes out the entire day.

CD 2 -  Still Super Depressed about getting af.... Trying to accept it. Went to the Pharmacy to re-fill my prescription for Clomid. Got Depressed once I read the re-fills it said 1.. This meant this was my 2nd last try.

CD 3 - Started Clomid......... hmm getting over myself and decided that I was gonna stop being such a baby.... I decided to try tampons for the first time ever. I have been too afraid. I did it successfully and now I think I may start using them more.

CD 4 - WoW seriously???? AF gone already? ugh is this even normal? oh well its NYE...... hubby and I hand the most mind blowing night at home!!!

CD 5 - Thinking about what its going to be like if I can never get pregnant..... Depressed. Then on my way home from work in totally horrible weather... |Thinking that I really don't know what I would do if I was pregnant and driving in this weather.....Totally forgetting to take my Clomid.... realized once I got home that I needed to take it....

CD 6 - I have had the most terrible headache all day...... Very irritable with my husband... especially since I spent 10 minutes having a shower and he disappeared and started playing video games and never saw him all afternoon......