Gone for Another Month... Cycle Day 4.

Hey Everyone,

I woke up this morning a bit groggy and tired. Fearful to look outside as they called for a flash freeze as it spent most of the day raining and wet snow. Good ol'Canada. Can't believe it, GAH.  Yesterday was one of the best days that I have had in a long time.  I started my morning with sending my husband off for pcik up hockey. He goes every sunday morning with his father, he comes home all yucky and sweaty because he refuses to shower in the open showers with 12 other men... I spent the morning curled up on the couch and cleaning. We went to his parents for our "family" meal. Every other sunday we go there to have a meal, as a way to stay connected with them *even though we live 2 min drive from them* . My husband and I got a gift card from his work for a Christmas bonus to a local grocery store so we went and did our groceries together (I try to ensure we do it together) came home to my step father and my siblings coming buy, My Husband and I were out shoveling the slush as we were expecting a flash freeze. They all ended up helping, then they visited for a while. My Husband and I went to Wal-mart got a chicken to have for dinner, then returned home and ate it. We attempted to make snow treats but failed. It was something that was passed down the family. We then went out side to shovel one last night before heading to bed... It turned out to be an epic snowball fight and me ending up buried beneath the snow.... It was fun. Returned inside and cuddled on the couch watching our Sunday night shows. It was great.

Today I am feeling a bit sad. We saw some acquaintances yesterday with their Son. They asked us if we had any on the way yet. I told them the biggest lie ever.... I told them we were waiting, as I wanted to make sure we were stable. Then D stated that was he was trying to do but didn't think it would happen so quick. All I could say was geez if only!

Cycle 4 Days 1-3

I woke up friday Morning with another temperature drop. I was hoping for it to go back up but unfortunatly it didn't :( I am sad. I was depressed all morning and miserable for the most part. Trying to think of a million reasons why it wasn't happening.

I immediately bbm'd my husband telling him that we had no luck this month. He doesn't seemed phased by my lack of ability to get pregnant.

I honestly and truly want to give up right now. I don't think its ever going to happen. Yes... I think thats what I am going to do is give up, try to focus on other things. Like losing the weight and fixing up the house and maybe and just maybe it might happen then right who knows....

A New Program

I have been a Weight Watcher Member since 2008. I had lost 65 lbs and since May of 2009 I have gained about 40 back :( that was with the stress of a wedding, buying a house etc... And of course my love for food. Today yet another program started. I have to say that I am excited... IT seems to look like an awesome and fresh start. Which today I am officially starting again, I am excited to start again and this is going to be the last time because I want to keep it off! If I lose the weight maybe Baby Hilderley #1 might come sooner!

The First Few Months.....

My Husband and I decided on our Wedding Night that we would stop using protection... We ended up not doing the BD because we were too drunk and tired that night and had to catch a ride to the airport at 4 am. So it was our second night when we officially started.....

I was scared. I didn't know what to expect, I even took condoms on our honeymoon just in case lol. It was funny now in hindsight. I had never in my life had unprotected sex. It was a new experience. A nice one at that ;) I had breast implants done when I was 16 due to medical reasons not because I am some sort of plastic and enjoy enhancing my body like that. I was told that I could never go on the BCP because it could cause complications. So condoms was my choice. It worked well.

I started taking Pre-natal vitamins and I have been struggling with weight loss.. lost 65 and have gain about 30 back... so I am still trying.

I didn't track my bbt the first month trying because I wanted to enjoy it... after no luck I started tracking with fertility friend. I have been tracking for 3 months now. I am on 7DPO.... and expected for my friend Sunday. I am crossing my fingers as things feel weird. In the past week I slept about 57 hours. I was tired. The last period I had was normal for 2 days and then spotting for 2. Which is unusal.

I am hoping that this will be it and I can start blogging about being pregnant:)

About Me

My Name is Debbie. My Husband Mark and I got married on August 14, 2010. We have been together for just under 7 years. We enjoyed a beautiful wedding surrounded with our family and friends. We took a FANTASTIC honeymoon to Disney in Orlando. It was my first time and I cried like no tomorrow walking into it for the first time.

I have always known that I wanted Children. It was something that was instilled in me very young. I started a career working with Children on a daily basis. I work with the more high needs children and youth. The ones that have been abandon, neglected, abused etc from their family. They need someone to love them and I felt that I could provide them with that. However, Soon enough something was missing.... after deep thought, I realized a child of my own was missing. My Now husband didn't want children for the longest time. It took years for me to convince him otherwise. In the end I left it alone and shortly before the wedding he told me that he wants children. My husband is a licenced automobile mechanic. We bought our first home which closed two weeks before our wedding and we spent the entire week painting and such and redoing flooring to move in exactly one week before the wedding. It was crazy. We settled about a month after the wedding.

I am hoping that I will encourage others and allow others to hear what I am feeling because its hard for me to express my feelings towards others especially my close friends whom all have already had children. Bare with me as I am new to this.